With a grieving heart I have to tell you that Monday night at about 10:37 pm our sweet bloggy friend Cindy went to be with the Lord. I don't really know many details, but I had not heard from her since before the fast. I guessed that she had gotten really bad very quickly.
I didn't personally know Cindy, but the bit I knew her through emails and her blog and her comments on my blog, I knew that she was a remarkable woman: kind and gracious, gentle, meek, humble, Mom of Many (10!), adoptive mom, homeschooling mom, passionate for the orphan, lover of home, devoted wife and radical follower of Jesus Christ.
I didn't mention this before, but on June 10, 2009 I blogged about having received a sewing machine in the mail. A blog follower had read around Mother's Day about my tradition for many years of making matching clothes for all of us but I had lost my sewing machine to our fire. It was Cindy who had read that and sent me a brand new machine. I was speechless!! In the midst of her own pain, disease and difficult life she was ministering to me and we didn't even know each other!! Only a truly precious woman would do something so thoughtful.
I will keep it to myself, but the last email I received from Cindy she spoke something prophetic into my life. As I read the words that night, I knew that although the words had been typed by Cindy, they were right from the heart of God just for me. They were profound and I will forever treasure those words coming from my precious bloggy friend Cindy.
I cannot imagine how Howard is doing, let alone all the kids. How does one go on? How does one process such a deep and profound loss? Only by the grace of God and with the prayers of many....like us, their bloggy friends.
I have really prayed as I prepared to type this post, because many of you were first time fasters for Cindy just one week ago. We were all joining together in prayer and fasting and begging God for a miracle. The question could be on many minds: Why oh why, God, didn't you heal? The thing we have to remember is that God is sovereign. He is in control.
Was Cindy's healing too big for God? Absolutely not!! Was it too late that we fasted? Not a chance!! Up until her last breath, God was more than capable of healing.
Over the years, having fasted zillions of times, I have seen God move hugely. I have also seen Him remain silent. I have to humbly bow my knee and say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord. You are our loving Father and I trust you."
For me, fasting for Cindy, even though God did not choose to heal her on this Earth....I can stand back and say, "I did all I could from afar for her and her family. I begged, pleaded, prayed with passion and fasted and yet God, you did not move as I had prayed." Fasting is a total surrender of our will to God's will. It is saying, "This is what I am begging for, but YOU are God. It's your call."
My fear is that many will say, "He didn't do anything, what's the point of fasting?" That would be the enemy directing that thought!! Fasting does far more than is evidenced in the physical. It is a supernatural, spiritual discipline. It is what builds our faith. We have seen God do so much when we fast.
I am confident that if Cindy could speak to us she would say something like, "Thank you my dear bloggy friends and family. Please do not allow my death to keep you from fasting - because it was not in vain. Please pray for my family. Please pray for my sweet Howard and please pray for my precious treasures. Please bloggy friends - keep fighting the fight and press in to knowing Christ deeper."
Read her previous posts and you will find a deep woman who knew her Saviour. Trials have a way of bringing us even closer to Him....and there is no doubt she was close.....and now she is wrapped in His arms: free of pain and suffering, complete and whole.
At the bottom of all of Cindy's emails she had a quote by Doug Phillips: The Bible calls children blessings and debt a curse. Yet in our society we apply for curses and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture.
Chew on that awhile, huh?
Now today, many of us are fasting for the release of the 4 little boys taken from the ministry AFrican Hearts in the city of Kampala, Uganda. I wrote about it 2 days ago. We are asking God to reveal the evil men who stole them away while they were sleeping. We are asking God for miracles on these four little boys behalf. Boys who have already suffered unspeakable things in their lives...boys who are just like your sons or brothers...just born in the "wrong place at the wrong time." We are asking God to break the horrific tide of child trafficking that is becoming epidemic in our world. We are asking for a miracle - because we know that nothing is too difficult for our God.
I love you sweet bloggy friends and I thank each of you for praying and/or fasting for Cindy & her family and now these little boys. God has so much in store for us, as we join together at this very time in history for a very specific purpose - to be salt and light to a world that is groping in darkness desperately searching for people willing to stand and make a difference. xo