Friday, March 4, 2011

Remind Me Never To Do THAT Again. Ever.

I thought at 52 I would be pretty well-versed in life.

Ya' know.  Wise.  Relatively smart.    

Ummm. Yeah. 

So, the other day Dw came home from work exhausted.  He had had a late night
 meeting the night before and he said he was going to take a little nap.  

He crawled into bed.

I was in the bedroom talking with him for a speck.  I needed to grab this and that and hurry out so he could sleep.  He was cuddled down under the covers almost drifting instantly.

I grabbed what I needed, telling him one or two things that he would find interesting.  

I noticed though that Charlee Lousie {Emma's puppy} had chewed up some paper and left small bits of it on the floor.  I was scurrying around cause I really wanted Dw to get some sleep.

Now let me just interject here:  Did you ever hear how everyone has one basic primary senses:  


  hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste

Once upon a time, I heard somewhere that each of us have one primary sense that we use first before we put the others to use.  Always made sense to me {haha, get it?}  

So what's my primary sense?  

I confess right here and now,

I'm a smeller.  

I am. 

Wellllll,  or least I was.

I don't know if you can 'undo' your primary sense, 
but I'm going to give it my doggone best try.

SO as I was explainin' I was pickin' up, grabbin', hurryin', reachin', talkin', bendin', scurryin', talkin' fast, hurryin' faster trying to get out of the bedroom so my sweet husband could sleep...

In the midst of all this, I grabbed the bits of paper Charlee Louise had left on the floor and as I reached down to pick the bits of paper up and grasp them I noticed something kind of under the bed.  The room was dusky and this 'thing' was right at the edge of the bedskirt...it was kind of long and kind of dark and in a split second I scrunched my nose and thought, "what is that?" as I grabbed it with my lovely bare hands...

Really, this whole scene took about 3 seconds...reaching, wondering, grasping {noticing it was soft and all squishy-fied} and immediately thrusting it up to my nose to see what it smelled like....

And as my hand literally reached my nose, my eyes spotted them....

two scrawny legs and a very, very, very 
long skinny tail dangling between those two scrawny legs

perfectly hanging between my fingers in my clasped hand...




Yes indeed.

The back half of a mouse in my bare hands: dangling, literally, smack-dab at my nose.

I  can hardly type it all out cause I want to climb out of my skin.

Really.

I HATE mice.

It's not a cute little thing that I say to be dramatic.  

I HATE mice.


Like seriously.


They completely freak me out.

They are creepy and nasty and ugly and horrible.

I jumped approximately four feet in the air, threw it onto the carpet
and started screamin' like a naked lady....


I was screaming,
"PICK IT UP! OH MY GOSH!!  GET IT!!
TAKE IT AWAY!  IT'S A MOUSE! GET IT!! PICK IT UP!! 
HELP ME!  HELP ME!"

My knight in shining armor, who had been about to doze,
 threw the covers off and dove across the bed....

Later Dw told me all he could think was


'you found it - you take it away'!

{guess he was stickin' with that old saying...Finders Keepers!}  

Thanks babe.

Since he was now up, he gingerly got a piece of toilet paper and threw that despicable, horrible, nasty, creepy back half of the mouse into the commode and flushed it.

We are guessing that one of the barn cats had a little snack but wasn't hungry enough to eat it all. At which point, most likely Charlee Lousie found the back half of the disgusting rodent on a potty trip outside and carried it in and deposited it on the floor
beside my side of the bed.

So from here on out...I am vowing publicly to change that stupid sense/smell thing. 

Really.

I'm done.

I have felt like my skin is crawling if I even think about it at all...and yes, 
I have washed my hands with anti-bacterial soap a bazillion times.

{Pffft.  To think that Stuart Little was my favorite bud.
Probably not anymore.}

42 Simply Sweet Words:

  1. OK, I totally thought your were going to say it was poop and I really wish you would have because I think it would have been easier to deal with.

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  2. Oh my word. Crack me up!!! I say that and in reality I would have jumped out of my skin too!!!
    And as for the SMELL thing. My husband, and basically everyone that knows me, says I need to go to smellers anonymous. Seriously. I smell just about everything...it's habit..but I have a great nose. ;)

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  3. My skin is totally crawling over here just thinking about that. EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! Oh you poor dear. That is all.

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  4. That is AWFUL!!! I thought you were going to say it was puppy poop, which would have been bad enough. A half eaten mouse is just enough to make me scream for you!

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  5. Mice are one of those creations that I just don't have an appreciation for! I feel like washing my hands for you. Certainly makes puppy poop not sound so bad. LOL!

    Peace

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  6. I'm laughing out loud here...I was thinking poop too. Mice don't bother me, however if it would have been a bat, that would have been a different story. Hugs

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  7. Oh, disgusting! I completely understand your dread and hatred of mice. When the apartment we were living in developed a persistent mouse problem, we decided to get out fast. We bought our fist house the following week! I cannot abide the thought of living with mice!

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  8. Heeeheeeheeee...
    OH NO! At least it wasn't alive to BITE you! ;)
    GROSS! HAHAHAHAHA...
    Siiigh.
    That was too funny (but I'm sorry for your heeby jeebys)!

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  9. This totally made me laugh. SO nasty yet so funny the way you retell the story. And poor Dwight. I bet his heart was beating fast from being woken up that way.

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  10. YUCK! Can you hear me pucking! Mice are my worst fear in the whole world. I am so sorry you had to experience that! It was pretty aweful though that you put a picture of a mouse on you blog that made it way to realistic.
    Also thanks for the kind words on my blog. The pic is one my husband took of me on a date and I really love him so I was giving him my best smile. =)

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  11. Eeeks! Only the back half?!? Our cat is also quite generous too.

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  12. Too funny! I thought you were going to say poop too. The other day, I let my dog back in and she had gotten into dirt in the yard that was all over her mouth. I grabbed her mouth and wiped it off with my bare hands so she wouldn't wipe it on the walls. Then, instead of washing my hands, I put my hand to my nose to "smell the dirt".... I can't explain why. Well, it wasn't dirt, or at least not all dirt, cause it smelled a whole lot like poo. I have a habit of smelling things, like (clean laundry, the top of my kids' hair, etc). To make matters worse, I had just made a nice sandwich for lunch and I couldn't stop thinking I didn't get all the poo off my hands..... ugh. Needless to say, no more kisses for Carli the dog either!

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  13. Ok...so hubby and I are laying in bed laughing at your "mousecapade" and he wonders....

    what exactly does the back half of a mouse smell like????
    Thanks for the chuckles before bed!
    Hugs,
    Lynnea :)

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  14. Oh my goodness....OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! I would never, ever be able to stop being creeped out by that, ever! And you did such a superb job of telling the story. : ) I will pray for you my friend, that God helps you to erase that memory forever.

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  15. OH. MY. GOODNESS!! I'm with the commenter who thought you were going to say poop. That would have been 10000000% better in my mind, too. I'm with you. Just the thought of one of those furry creatures gives me the willies. I can't describe what they do to me. While in Uganda, I saw a dead one, and just about lost it for the rest of the day. What was even better, wat the fact we had a LIVE one in our room a couple of days later. I'm sure the hotel staff got a big kick of the Mzungu running down a flight of stairs carrying one child, and dragging the other one behind her. ; )

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  16. O my, O my...you make me laugh!! Thank YOU!! (By the way, I would do exactly the same thing you did!)
    Shanna

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  17. I had to laugh, not only at your reaction (completely understandable) but at DW's!

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  18. I feel for you...I, too, am disgusted by mice. My husband and I rehab houses and it is a common for us to find a dead rodent laying around. YUCK!!!

    But, one day, I will never forget. We were moving some old appliances out of a basement. As we pushed an old dryer away from the wall, I stepped on something and when I looked down...there it was. A sticky trap stuck to my shoe, but not an empty trap...it had a mouse stuck on it...not a dead mouse...a living, breathing, squirming mouse!!! My husband still laughs about the way I was hoping around, kicking and screaming for him to get it off my shoe. Whew, what a day.

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  19. Oh yuck! That's awful, but hey, at least your primary sense wasn't TASTE!!

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  20. I am not laughing AT ALL. Oh my gosh I hardly know what to say because I haven't started breathing again yet. There just can't be enough anitbacterial soap in the world. I DO NOT LOVE those little creatures like God does. I confess, it is much closer to a loathing than a love.

    My skin is still crawling. YUCK, YUCK, DOUBLE DOUBLE YUCK!!!!

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  21. I'm so sorry that I laughed so hard I'm crying. Really. Cause I don't like them either...and I really feel bad for you. :)
    Ok..I can top that. We know someone that found a tail in their burger. No kidding. A restaurant that might even be your favorite. The real question is, "Where is the rest of the rat?" yeah. Took it to court and he won. Yuck!! I will never eat at that restaurant.

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  22. Okay....trying to frost Isaiah's birthday cake for his 7th birthday tomorrow. I was being so quiet as everyone sleeps.....UNITL NOW! Oh my goodness....I am roaring over here. I have a really good mental image of this!

    Julie :)

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  23. just finished breakfast! I'm not laughing much really!!!!!!! The way you write I can picture the scene so clearly!
    Mice I can cope with but SPIDERS arghhhh they have way to many legs!!!
    So DW has gone from Bad guy to HERO!!!! well done that Knight in Blanket

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  24. hehehe the picture of the mouse you posted is so cute, it looks like it's praying! :)

    but... the bottom half of a mouse? ughhhh I can totally understand how you feel... in fact, something similar happened to me a few weeks ago...

    I was taking my laundry out of the washing machine, and I noticed something in the lint, it looked like a tiny baby snake hanging out, it was dark grey. I stared at it, closer and closer. I dared to touch it, and felt it.. it was rubbery and I was relieved, it felt like some kind of rubber tube, I tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. I went over to mum and told her about this "baby snake stuck in the lint" she was horrified and went to investigate. She then told me, "it's not a baby snake, it's a mouse stuck in the lint, and it's its tail hanging out"

    I felt my heart in my mouth and almost fainted!!!!! I was so naueseated. UGGHGHHHH!!!!!

    She got my dad over to investigate, and guess what? it was indeed just a rubber tube!!!

    hahaha I tried to joke on my mum, but she got the better off me, except she honestly thought it was a mouse! :)

    I am so sorry you had to go through all these horrible sickening feeling! :) At least, know that you are not the only one! :)

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  25. Oh, my gosh!!!! How awful! I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. I once had a mouse run across my legs as I was sitting on the floor. Ewww. But for me, it would have been worse if it were some sort of spider or thing w/ more than 4 legs... still, I probably would have screamed at half a mouse, too. :)

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  26. Oh, ish! Poop would have been much better! A couple years ago I drove my folks home to NM. There was evidence of mice when we got in the house, so they set up traps before bed. I was just settling on the sofa bed and a trap snapped. My stepdad heard it, came out of the bedroom and threw it outside. After going back to bed, the second trap snapped, except they didn't hear it. I was not about to get up to deal with it and the mouse was not dead. It flopped around in the trap on the wood floor all night and flopped its way into the living room, past the bed. I couldn't even get up to use the bathroom because I was afraid that in the dark I would step on the mouse! I hate wild mice (the pet mice we had were ok, though). And to pick up half a mouse? I just threw up a little in my mouth. Poor Linny!

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  27. Ooooooooh mmmyyyyyyy gooooooosh! O_O! Linny, you've got to give us a warning at the beginning of the blog post with a story like that! Don't laugh, but I literally threw my handheld device out of the bed one way and I jumped out the bed the other way when I reached that most despicable part of the post. LOL! I know, dramatic, but so serious. Such things (even just hearing about it) give me the heebeegeebees like nobody's business. Ack! Yuck, yuck, 1000x yuck! I feel as though I need to wash my hands 50x over. LOL! Thank goodness I was not having breakfast while reading. Whew! Oh, you poor dear! :-p

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  28. Okay, I have to agree that I thought it was going to be poop too! Not so sure that I am glad it wasn't! :)
    UGH!

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  29. EEEEEWWWWWWWW! But...that is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh:) I would have done the same thing!!!

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  30. I thought you were going to say poop too...which in this case would have been a whole lot better. My sister who is litterly terrified of mice would have had a heart attach.Glad hubby was able to come to your rescue.
    Leveta

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  31. Oh I can so relate!!! Although mice are not my phobia... roaches are. And I literally go insane if I see one. In fact one time in college I lives at this one place that had roaches (I only lived there for 6 months) and I remember often calling up my friend who lived close by and had no fear of roaches to come rescue me, she would come over to find me standing on the coffee table pointing at the disgusting creature.

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  32. Ahhhhhh!!!! MY skin is crawling after reading this!!!

    All the "poop would've been better" comments are so funny!!!

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  33. I would be totally grossed out too! Ew!!!!! I don't think I would have dealt with it as well as you. I would have thrown up or passed out!

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  34. Oh my word I just gasped and my stomach flipped! My first sense is smell too and I HATE rodents of all kinds. When I lived in DC, there were rats that would run between my basement apt ceiling and the floor of the house above me. So not in my apt but over my bed all night. Thinking about that sound still makes me shiver!

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  35. That's SO funny...sorry! Mice really creep me out too and that would have made me scream !!! Just the thought of you holding it in your hand gives me chills!
    But I'm impressed that DW got up to take care of it instead of telling you to flush it yourself! What a man!
    Karen H.

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  36. Talk about being totally Politically incorrect.....LOL

    You just totally trashed Mickey and friends,ROFL....

    thanks for the chuckle. :o)

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  37. I can't stop laughing and cringing at the same time. I think I need to go wash my hands for you....no words, simply no words but EEEWWWW...triple EEEWWW...nope that doesn't even do it justice! Sorry sweet friend...praise God hubby was home!

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  38. My hubby and I are laughing so hard we are crying. And I didn't relaize til the end that it was only HALF a mouse. And then we laughed even harder. Oh my!

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  39. I'm laughing so hard that my 18mo son has joined in and is laughing with me!

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  40. Oh my goodness!!! You just made my day! I am several days behind reading blogs...so I just saw this. I must admit...I laughed so hard that I pee'd my pants!!!

    I have had a rough month and really needed the laugh. Could also use prayer. After being cancer free for almost two years, I have been told the cancer is back. This time it is back and running rapid! It is stage 3 and in my right lung and liver! I know we serve a BIG God...and he is the ulimate Healer....but to be honest, finding it hard to trust right now....

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It's always good to hear from bloggy friends. Bless you.