Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Kitchen Window

Yesterday I took the kids and went to look at rentals.
We looked at 5.

At the same time, Dw left Durango early in 
the morning with Graham 
just after picking up Savannah to come along as well. 

The first home I saw I loved.  I walked in an just thought, "Oh I love this home."  It's got charm, wood floors and a backyard that backs to a wash.  It feels like it was loved a lot and filled with loving memories.

As it turns out, Dw, Graham and Savannah 
were able to meet up with the kids and
 I eventually so that we could show them two of the rentals 
{always like to make men think that they have options}.

Today after much prayer we talked to our realtor and asked if she would make an 'offer' on the rental that I loved.  

So now we wait. 

Not many people are all that excited to rent to
 large families.

We are such a family of traditions, it seems so very weird that we are not in our home, nor are we doing anything we "normally" would do, nor is anything familiar here.

We have Christmas music playing as I type.  My eyes keep filling with tears.  I'm overcome with such great emotions. 

Never guessed when I left our home three months ago that I would not be going back.  I was thinking about it all yesterday.  I had completely forgotten that just before leaving for Africa I was looking out the window at the mountains.  I felt so strongly the Lord speak, "Look at the mountains Linny.  Soak in the view.  You won't be seeing them again."  I thought, "That's weird.  What's thta supposed to mean?" 

 I dismissed it.  Silly me.  I mean, come on.  I was only going to Africa to get Ruby.  I'd be home in about three weeks with Ruby Grace and we'd settle in to a new normal.

Little did I know.
But He did.
And it was HIS voice for sure telling me to soak in the view.

I feel so privileged to have had a mountain home with such a spectacular view.  Not everyone has the opportunity to gaze at the Rocky Mountains from their kitchen sink.  I had always dreamed of living near the Rocky Mountains since I was a young girl.  How gracious of God to allow me the joy.  

I was also thinking about what some of you said.  You mentioned that you thought I need to go back and say "good-bye" to our home.  And you're right, that would be very nice.  

But on the flip side: Two nights ago Ruby seemed to be having a problem.  I suddenly felt what it might feel like to know that I needed to get her to the hospital immediately.  I felt sick to my stomach.  If she had a real problem and I had taken her home to Durango so that I could say "good-bye"...we would never be able to get her to Phoenix or anywhere else quickly.  Her situation is serious and it's life-threatening if her shunt fails. 

It was at that moment, two nights ago, I felt like the Lord said, "Linny, you didn't get to say good-bye to your log home when it burned down, I was preparing you then for this.  I will give you the grace you need not to go back."  It was a powerful word from Him.

And just like the log home, I had to grieve.  Grieving is good.   I will grieve not going home to our wrap around porch, to our big lodgey kitchen/family room and the master bedroom Dw just repainted while I was in Africa bringing Ruby home - BUT I have the sweetest treasure snoozing on my lap in trade for saying good-bye.  And Miss Ruby Grace is the most precious little bundle you'll ever lay eyes on.   A miracle through and through.  

Yesterday I met a woman who works at a local Starbucks while buying a cup of coffee in between looking at rentals.  I was holding Ruby who was sleeping in my arms.  The Starbucks employee was ooohing and aaahing over Ruby.  I told her her story - 6 lbs and 11 months old when Dw and Emma found her in the orphanage.  She was moved and in disbelief.  After going to the car, I asked Emma if she had her ipod.  She did, so I ran back to the Starbucks and showed my new friend the picture of Emmy holding our starving Ruby.   The woman started to cry.  She said she would pray for Ruby's healing.

Miss Ruby's life is changing people everywhere.  She has had a profound influence.  I am beyond grateful.  I gaze at my miracle.  Tears of gratefulness.  I don't know what I ever did to be allowed this privilege by Almighty God.  I get to be her mom. 

Forever.  

Not saying good-bye pales in comparison to 
being Ruby's mommy.  It will all be okay.

He is faithful.  He prepares us for what we need.  He has never failed me.  He won't fail me now. 

32 Simply Sweet Words:

  1. Thank you for this. I am grieving our Christmas traditions this year as well. We have no idea where we will be living when I arrive in Phoenix in 2 weeks and now the first of our five kids has the chicken pox!! However, I am so incredibly grateful for my family, my husband who is always there for us, and the new adventure God is taking us on, that I am refusing to let the chaos get me down. It will all be ok!! Thanks for reminding me of that.

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  2. You show such grace and faith that it often leaves me speechless. Thank you for sharing you life with us. You give me such encouragement. Continue to fight the good fight, praying for you all as you transition and find your new home. Hugs and kisses to all of your precious treasures.

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  3. I'm guessing you will come to love your new home in Phoenix just as much because you will have your treasures with you.

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  4. We moved alot growing up. My mother would always say, home is where your heart is. Which also made me think of this verse. You are with your treasures, you are home.

    Matthew 6:21
    for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

    Hugs Debbie

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  5. OH SO TRUE!!!!
    Grieving- yes.....will happen.
    BUT RUBY- WORTH MORE THAN DIAMONDS!!!!
    PRAYING for continued healing and blessing on your family through this process!!!!

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  6. Oh, Linny I am in tears reading this. You are so greatly blessed and yes it hurts to leave, but God is surely leading where He wants you. I pray every night for that little gem of yours. God Bless and Merry Christmas.

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  7. He IS faithful ALWAYS - and he is ALWAYS in the details.

    Brooke
    www.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com

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  8. What a beautiful blog. Your words are so full of your faith in Jesus and the peace He has given you. What an encouragement you are to all who know you. Your kids are blessed to have you as their mommy. What a great example of love you have for your family. Ruby is truely blessed to have found her way into your heart.

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  9. I can only imagine, Lin. Praying for your heart now. On a lighter note, at least you're not moving here during the summer! Then you might say, "No, Lord, not happening!"

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  10. This post truly speaks to the fact that we are wanderers looking forward to the promised land. This life is but a blink and our heavenly home will be so much better… looking forward to it. Love you all much!

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  11. "Grieving is good" - Thank you for writing that. I am certainly grieving our home we left a few months ago. Trusting God.

    Prayers.

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  12. "Grieving is good" - Thank you for writing that. I am certainly grieving our home we left a few months ago. Trusting God.

    Prayers.

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  13. Linny, I've been following your blog for a little while and you have helped guide me so much closer to my Savior's side. I just had to tell you 'it's ok' if you don't get to say goodbye to your old home. I too left my home (in Australia) leaving two of my sons, puppy and kitty friends along with my husband. I had returned to the states to care for my husband's mom after a stroke. I thought I'd only be gone a few weeks but in caring for her I was never able to return home to say goodbye. Each time I left for a little bit she was in such distress and refused to eat. It was difficult for a short time but once my boys and husband rejoined me it all faded away. God is so gracious! From that time to today he has cared for me so sweetly and in the worst of times He has held me close to his breast, always loving and encouraging me to be so much more than I could've ever dreamed! I know that He is doing this for you too! So cry your tears then get up, wash your face and move forward with your beautiful family as God lays out your spectacular yellow brick road!
    Love to you,
    LaRita Stephens
    Www.curlymonkeyshines.blogspot.com

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  14. Linny, I've been following your blog for a little while and you have helped guide me so much closer to my Savior's side. I just had to tell you 'it's ok' if you don't get to say goodbye to your old home. I too left my home (in Australia) leaving two of my sons, puppy and kitty friends along with my husband. I had returned to the states to care for my husband's mom after a stroke. I thought I'd only be gone a few weeks but in caring for her I was never able to return home to say goodbye. Each time I left for a little bit she was in such distress and refused to eat. It was difficult for a short time but once my boys and husband rejoined me it all faded away. God is so gracious! From that time to today he has cared for me so sweetly and in the worst of times He has held me close to his breast, always loving and encouraging me to be so much more than I could've ever dreamed! I know that He is doing this for you too! So cry your tears then get up, wash your face and move forward with your beautiful family as God lays out your spectacular yellow brick road!
    Love to you,
    LaRita Stephens
    Www.curlymonkeyshines.blogspot.com

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  15. Beautifully written. The part about Ruby at the end brought tears to my eyes. Totally understand your reasons why you can't return. I'm sure it's hard in many ways but at the same time, it's good to remember that you get to take the important part with you...your family! Wishing for one last hug (and to hug that precious Ruby of yours)...I guess I'll have to come to Phoenix to get those hugs!

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  16. Oh precious friend, my heart aches and rejoices for you all at the same time--as you go through grieving your mountain home--while praising Him for your miracle named Ruby Grace. He truly is faithful, Linny--and He will see you through this . . . be it one baby step at a time.

    I love that you never once took that mountain view for granted, Linny, and I know that even as He was speaking to you to "soak in the view" you were already soaking in the view. I know this because you were gracious enough to share your beautiful view with us over and over again--you "soaked it in" daily with a grateful heart. And He will provide new blessings for you to appreciate--like warm, sunny days where your babies can run outside and play, while others are huddled indoors waiting on spring to come . . . And you will soak it in with your ever grateful heart.

    Durango has been incredibly blessed by the Saunders family and Phoenix is next! Yes indeed He is using Ruby Grace to touch others--but Ruby wouldn't be touching anyone without the support of her loving family's arms, literally. He has a greater plan, and I know you know that--Praying for peace as you wait on Him . . .

    Thank you Linny for sharing your transparent heart. For allowing us to share your joy, and bear your burdens.

    I love you friend, and am one of many praying you into this new chapter . . .

    Tina

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  17. Praying for your heart as you grieve, and rejoicing with you in your joy of being mommy to precious Ruby. God truly is so Good. We could never even dream up the plans He has for us, if we just trust Him. Walking my road of faith alongside you. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. It is just what the Lord has been saying to me too. Trust.
    love and prayers,
    jenn

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  18. Love this. He is faithful. Your home is your family not the one you lived in and praise God you are all together with little Ruby. We continue to pray for your other treasure home to her family. You are covered in prayer by all of us and we love you guys. Lori Florida

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  19. Hi Linny's family!

    I wanted to tell you guys that home is not where you live I is where you belong.


    P.S. I'm nine years old and i love your
    blog Linny!

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  20. This is just beautiful. It is just a house. We love our houses but our home is where God calls us and where the people we love are. It is so hard to leave a place we love. You have the your memories of your porch and view. So really you are bringing them with you not leaving them behind. They will always be with you. AND, we are so fortunate to live in this time... Your friends will remain as close as the phone or skype!!! Imagine what it was like for folks even 100 years ago.When they left home not only did they not know if they would see home again, would they ever see or speak to their friends and loved ones again! I can't imagine not having the ability to pick up the phone and just check in. What a huge blessing we have! If you are ever feeling that Arizona is not your final landing place I messaged your hubby about our great children's hospital here in Columbus and our awesome Vineyard! Whose pastor happens to be a native new yorker and an attorney and law professor before pastoring full time! Not to mention their vision is right up your alley! Both at home and overseas. Just sayin...It may not be for right now but you never know with the Lord! Praying for you and the family as you grieve and take these huge steps of faith. Sheri

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  21. So glad you are taking the time to grieve so that you can move forward with joy and excitement! Praying you have favor with the house of YOUR CHOICE!!! God is faithful to give us the desires of our hearts even down to the tiniest of details!!!

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  22. What a beautiful example of how we are to LOVE people and LIKE things! Your love for Ruby Grace far exceeds how much you like the house with wonderful mountain views.
    Praying God will make your path clear to your Arizona home.
    Angie

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  23. What an awesome reminder. One we are being reminded of on a daily basis. It is amazing how a child can change your lives and how God works in your heart preparing you ahead of time for the needed changes. We are learning this along side of you as our 6th child (2nd adopted) has multiple special needs-needs that dramatically change the way we function as a family. God is faithful!

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  24. Thrilling! That's the only word I can think of that seems even slightly adequate. Sad & happy, scary & exciting... I'd be overwhelmed, but it sounds like you are handling it all with peace and patience.
    Your situation reminds me of just how strong our God is - that he can hold you close and carry you through so much, safe in his arms. We know we are fragile, but we also know that we can trust Him to not let us shatter. That is such a relief!
    I'm excited that you've found a potential location... I will pray that the transaction goes smoothly so that you can have that sense of being 'home' turned into a reality.

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  25. Linny,

    Thanks for the post, we have only adopted going on 3 times and each time my husband has been laid off and we have had to move states and towns. We have moved 12 times in 19 years. It is so hard leaving friends,the comfort of our homes, giving pets away, and yet God is so faithful. He won't make life easier for us only better in the long run. It is amazing where God takes us when we say will do what ever it takes to bring this child home. He is writing the best story of our lives better than we could ever imagine and hope to behold.Praying for you all!!!
    Holly
    www.arnoldfamilynews.blogspot.com

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  26. Praying for you in your transtion! Much love to you.

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  27. You are an amazing woman of God. The words you write are so very true!Praying that The Lord will provide you a home soon.Yes Ruby grace has touched many lifes myself included as have all your Precious Treasures in one way or another. Janet

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  28. Here you are encouraging us. Amazing.
    We should be encouraging you.
    You make me want to follow after Jesus hard. :) Praying for you and DW and all your kids and Ruby's healing. . really.

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  29. It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord speaks to us. Last week when I was praying for Ruby I kept hearing the Lord speak to me to pray for your family's finances and I kept thinking how crazy since clearly I was supposed to be praying for Ruby. So when you posted about moving it all began to make sense. He cares about everything. So, still praying for your family as you make this very difficult transition!

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  30. I love this. Really, really love this. The Lord knows the void in your heart over this HOME that you are leaving but OF COURSE(!!!) He has many many (many) more blessings in store for you that will fill up this void. Not to worry! :) He IS faithful! Blessing to you all! ♥ Robin

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  31. Linny, I just had to comment on this post. I just finished my current Bible study and one of the lessons was on Abram and David, both being told to "Leave, go now, leave everything behind." They both were obedient and reaped the blessings. I pray the same for you and your family. Peace, healing and blessings.

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It's always good to hear from bloggy friends. Bless you.