Saturday, March 31, 2012

Who In the World is Kim Foo?

So excited that you guys love the new look as much as I do.

But who exactly is behind the look?

Here's the skinny...

I had a few simple requests...

Clean.

Simple.

Drop down menu.

Rotating header.  {Have you visited our Place Called Simplicity to see that there are actually two pictures on the header?  Depending on when you open the site? Sooooo fun!!}

And oooooh yeah, and I wanted it Purple.

And she came through, just like I knew she would.

So let me introduce you by backing up and telling you the story...

About 2 years ago I started getting regular comments from someone named Kim Foo.

Emma began to get regular comments on her blog as well from Kim Foo.

I will never forget the day....we were standing at the kitchen island and Emma and I turned to each other perplexed said,


"Who in the world is Kim Foo?"

{See, What did I tell ya?   It does stand out when someone comments regularly.  And KimFoo is living proof!}

Emma and I looked at her blogger profile.  Hmmmm.  Kim Foo.  Sweet name.  She must be Asian or married to an Asian.  {Which, as it turns out she is neither.  Haha}

Soon after that day, I mentioned in a post that our yellow ribbon was going up.

This Kim Foo chick wrote and said, "Would it be okay if my students sent a package to your son while he's deployed?  What's his favorite stuff?"

Well as everyone knows the old saying.....

Love me?  Thank you, I love you too.

Love my kids?  Oh.my.gracious.   Love you forever!

Honor my deployed son - wow.  You win big, big, big time with this ol' mama.

So Kim Foo and her students gathered the stuff and sent the package.

My heart was overjoyed.

And then one day Kim Foo read about my dream of Elijah's Hope and wrote:  "I'm a web designer could  I help?"

Hmmm, well let's see.

Since I had absolutely zero idea what I was going to do to bring Elijah's Hope from being a dream to fulfillment, I was wrote back, "Let's talk."   {And yes, for the record, Miss KimFoo designed the site, and maintains it daily.....she's a rock star!}

And so began a sweet friendship that would span the United States and a generation.   I can honestly say she has truly become one of my dearest friends.   She loves the Lord, loves her husband, loves life and loves the orphan!  And she's so  easy to talk to.  In fact we have laughed so hard working together on something that one of us wet our pants {not saying who, but can I just say that I'm really thankful I had that bladder surgery a few years back...haha}

When I'm having a tough day, Miss KimmyFoo will, out of the blue, text me and say, "How r u?  Everything okay?"  That's called a true friend, no doubt!

So when it came time to doing a blog makeover, "she be 'da woman"....

One of these days we're going to hang out in person....{after she gets home with her sweet hubby Bryan and their new little guy coming soon through international adoption.}

Sooooo, if you're in need of a web site designer or a blog makeover....shoot her an email....she's a blast to work with....

Here's her web site:   Foo Web Development   

Friday, March 30, 2012

He Could Use Some Joy

Life is so weird sometimes, isn't it?

I remember walking around WalMart a few days after we lost our home to 
the fire.

I saw people laughing, talking, joking around...

and here we were grieving the loss of everything familiar.

Dw and I both commented how we felt like we were in a bubble...
life appeared to be going on for everyone else and it just felt so very weird.

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, yesterday my precious mom-in-love 
stepped into eternity.

Although death is part of life...no matter the age, the season or the expectation of, 
it is still painful and it is still hard.

Grief is necessary.

We need to grieve.

We need to feel.

We must be real.

We need to remember.

And as it turns out, today is that sweet husband of mine's birthday.

{Kind of amazing to think that when my mom-in-love was 
giving birth to her youngest son {my hubby}....little did anyone know that
57 years later, minus one day, she would pass away.



Timing is always interesting, isn't it?

As a family, we are such the celebrating type....
{in fact Emma who is known for her thoughtfulness, has free flight privileges 
because of Josh working for the airlines.  So she flew yesterday to be with her Daddy.  
She said she couldn't bear the thought of him being alone on his birthday 
with his mom dying.  She will stay by his side until Daddy comes home.} 

And so even though it's his birthday, naturally he is grieving,
{as we all are}.

So I got to thinkin' that quite possibly a few of you would be willing to 
wish that man of mine a big ol' happy birthday.

He's been my best friend for the last just about 36 years...and I just know
he will love some Birthday Joy from all of you......
Awww, come on, don't be bashful.  
It will make him smile.  

What I Actually Said...

I am a planner by nature and I definitely function best when I have a plan.  The plan can fail, and I'll adjust nicely, but somehow, knowing that there is a plan in place is a great comfort.

I definitely do not think I have the corner on what to say to people's questions {in fact even today, sometimes things just completely dumbfound me and catch me off guard!} and yet being an adoptive family for the last 26+ years, we have definitely heard our share.  I share our life in hopes that it serve to prepare others who find themselves in similar situations.  

When I told the story yesterday, it was recalling the very first time that I had encountered someone who definitely was not going to be appeased until she had the information about our family that she deemed necessary.

I regret I didn't tell you a bit more, but as I typed it, I was talking on and off with Dw, who weeping off and on while he periodically held the phone up to his mom's ear so I could tell her how much I loved her.  Her breathing was getting more and more shallow and slowing down substantially until in the afternoon she drew her last breath.   Dw said that for about the last 5 minutes of her life, she was so peaceful.  He was convinced she was getting glimpses into heaven and seeing her beloved Savior face to face.   All four of her sons were around her bed as she drew her very last breath on Earth.

So clearly, I wasn't thinking it completely through, please forgive me.

Anyway, I should have mentioned how when the woman asked which one was ours, my arms extended to my three treasures and I responded, "They're all ours."  To which she quickly replied, "No, I mean, which one is yours?"

When she repeated the question, I sensed that she was making more of a point and her "nosey bone" wanted to be satisfied.

I re-emphasized what I had clearly just stated.

"They're all ours."

She then said, "You know what I mean!!  Which one of them is really yours?"

Calmly I nodded in agreement indicating that I knew exactly what she meant, and again, and quite pleasantly I insisted while nodding, "They're all ours!"

Not to be deterred, she repeated yet again, "Come on!  You know what I mean!  Which one of them is really yours?"

I nodded again,  "I do know what you mean - they're all ours."

She would not quit!  "No, seriously, which one is really yours?"

It was uncomfortable.  It was awkward,   Frankly it was obnoxious.  What type of person pushes for an answer from a total stranger when it is clearly not being given freely?  She knew darn well what she wanted and she was not going to quit until she had it.

And all the while, my children's attention was riveted to this complete stranger who was negating what I was saying and continuing to insist that only one of my kids was "ours."  As though adopted children are pretend and bio kids are the "real" ones!


When her persistence continued, it became clear that she was not going to leave us alone until she knew what she wanted to know.
  
And frankly, it was beginning to tick me off.


Although I grew up in a home where boundaries were non-existant, I had been learning that boundaries are actually very healthy indeed.  And around that time I had also been learning that I don't "owe" anyone an explanation for anything.  And in this case, I definitely did not want to elaborate on anything to this nosey woman.  {It is a definitely a myth that every question deserves to be answered!}

 So at that point, realizing that she was not relenting and knowing that if I had caved to her intrusive questioning I would have lamented for days {or weeks or years}, looking her straight in the eye, as she questioned yet one last time, I responded,

"Ya' know at this moment, 
I just can't seem to remember!"  

Her mouth dropped open.  And I turned with the kids and went to find seats.

Dw found a new hair stylist and we found a church closer to the school Dw was attending.

But that day I learned several important lessons.  It's true, not every question deserves an answer.  And although educating the world about the joys of adoption would be optimal, not everyone is really wanting to be educated.  And protecting our children's hearts is not only our privilege but it is also our responsibility.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

What Would You Have Said?

For those who commented on the little boy at the pool - 
Daisy, you are so right, in the end, the only thing
 that matters is what God thinks of us.

And Adri, there is no doubt that prejudice is as
 old as the history of our globe.

I have long been fascinated with the story found in 
Numbers 12, of Aaron and Miriam
 belly-aching about Moses {their own brother 
whose life they had helped to spare when he was a baby} 
and the color of Moses' wife's skin. 

I did some research once on that story and most
 likely Moses' wife's skin was black, or at least very, very dark.
Their story, again, proves to me that the Lord 
has quite a sense of humor as His response to the 
complaining about Moses and his wife's skin tone
was to allow Miriam's skin to become alarmingly 
white from a sudden God-directed 
skin disorder {quite possibly leprosy}.   

I am most definitely not making light of leprosy, 
but think about it....they were complaining 
that their brother was married to a dark skinned 
woman and God said, "Really?  So you think that 
you're better than her because of the lightness 
of your skin?  Seriously?  Try this on for size 
Miss-Light-Skinned-Woman-Not-Turned-WHITE-Skinned-Woman"!  It appears that He was not gonna' put 
up with Miriam and Aaron's prejudice against Moses' wife!
{I attached the entire passage at the bottom of this post.}  

God has given us the responsibility {and grace} 
to train our kids to respond appropriately
to people around them, whether our kids are of 
a different skin tone, have various handicaps
 or are the sibling or friend of one of the above.

First things first, God must always be glorified 
in everything we do.

Just for the record, knowing that God must
 be honored does not mean that I have been
 exempt from feeling like slugging someone though! 
{Just being honest.}
  
Yet, to honor Him, we must maintain self-control and allow the gentle fruit of the Holy Spirit to speak through us.

To ignore is not "more Godly."

On the contrary!  
God never ignores injustice!

"Speak up for those who cannot 
speak for themselves, for the 
rights of all who are destitute."
Prov. 31:8

In fact He commands us to speak up against injustice!

That would mean, we must speak up, not just for 
our own treasures,
 but those around us as well.

I'm telling ya', you would think I get a commission
 for promoting Frank Peretti's book,
{which of course I most definitely do NOT!} 
but seriously, it was so insightful, I can't say
 enough about it.


It only confirmed the importance of adults leading 
the way in how to respond to cruelty against others
 in whatever form we find it.

I think one of the most important factors in responding to others is to try to understand where they are coming from and what their motive would be and maybe what their heart is like.

When I told the story of the little boy at the pool, I made sure each of you understood that he snarled as he spoke.  There was no denying that his heart was being unkind.  It was not an innocent kind of thing.

Over the years we have encountered all sorts of people saying {and doing} all sorts of things toward our family.   Some are just innocent folks trying to understand our life.  Some comments from others have felt 'not quite so innocent.'  Although we can never be certain what someone's heart or motive is, scripture does say this:

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."
Luke 6:45

God's word is perfect.  And ya' know what I love 
about His word?  It cuts to the quick.  
No messin' around.  No pretending.  
He says it like it is.  I love, love, love that!  
So in other words, what the above verse means is this:  
You have a yukky heart?  It's gonna' spill out 
yuk from your mouth.  You have a tender, 
loving and kind heart?  Yup, it's gonna' spill 
out in tender loving kindness! 

No more making excuses for people who vomit meanness - it's coming straight from their heart!

We have a few 'rules' in our family.



One of our 'rules' in our home is that our home is always safe.
There will never, ever be any picking or teasing tolerated.

Period.

The world out there can be so cruel.
And if we allow our home to mimic the teasing and cruelty
 in the world, where will our children ever feel safe?

So in our family, we will never, ever say anything 
unkind about or to one another...not even in what some
 might consider as 'teasing'.   

Everyone is safe here.  




I am dumbfounded when I have heard siblings from
 other families 'tease' 
each other with cruel comments or nicknames. 

There is nothing funny about laughing at someone else's expense, even if the person laughs along.
Down deep they are likely crying their eyes out. 


Another rule? 
We stick together.
Like Super Glue.

You hurt, I hurt.
I hurt, you hurt.
Someone vomits meanness at you,
I feel it like it was me.

So here's a story of something that happened 
many, many years ago.

Autumn was just two years old and we had closed up Dw's 
law practice and moved to Virginia Beach for 
Dw to attend seminary.  

Not long after arriving Dw had gone to get his 
haircut and at the appointment 
the hair stylist had invited us to the church
 she attended.  He had told her about our family 
and that we had three kids, two of whom we had had
the privilege of adopting.

The following 
Sunday morning, while visiting her church, 
this woman, whom I have never seen before
 came charging up to me and said, 
"Hi!  I'm the lady who cut your husband's hair!"

Dw had gone to the bathroom and so I was 
standing alone with Autumn, Abigail, and Tyler 
when she came to us.

I smiled and responded, "Hello, yes, he told me 
about you cutting his hair."  

Without any other conversation, and without any warning, 
she instantly turned her attention to our three kids
who were standing wide-eyed looking at her abrupt approach... 
and immediately thrust her finger toward 
Tyler's little 5 year old face and exclaimed loudly, 

"Well I can sure tell he's not yours!
 {and waving her finger back and forth between
 Abigail and Autumn she continued...} 
Which one of them is yours?"

What would you have said or done?

{Lord willing, these posts will serve to get us all thinking about how to respond in all kinds of situations. There is no 'right' answer, but some responses will certainly accomplish much more than others.  So please share your thoughts.  What I did and said, may not be for you.  What someone comments may be more your style.  And in the future, many will read this post and the comments that follow...gleaning valuable insight into life, as we know it.}




Numbers 12 


1 Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife, for he had married a Cushite. 2 “Has the LORD spoken only through Moses?” they asked. “Hasn’t he also spoken through us?” And the LORD heard this.
 3 (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)
 4 At once the LORD said to Moses, Aaron and Miriam, “Come out to the tent of meeting, all three of you.” So the three of them went out. 5 Then the LORD came down in a pillar of cloud; he stood at the entrance to the tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When the two of them stepped forward, 6 he said, “Listen to my words:
   “When there is a prophet among you,
   I, the LORD, reveal myself to them in visions,
   I speak to them in dreams. 
7 But this is not true of my servant Moses;
   he is faithful in all my house. 
8 With him I speak face to face,
   clearly and not in riddles;
   he sees the form of the LORD.
Why then were you not afraid
   to speak against my servant Moses?”

 9 The anger of the LORD burned against them, and he left them.
 10 When the cloud lifted from above the tent, Miriam’s skin was leprous[a]—it became as white as snow. Aaron turned toward her and saw that she had a defiling skin disease, 11 and he said to Moses, “Please, my lord, I ask you not to hold against us the sin we have so foolishly committed. 12 Do not let her be like a stillborn infant coming from its mother’s womb with its flesh half eaten away.”
 13 So Moses cried out to the LORD, “Please, God, heal her!”
 14 The LORD replied to Moses, “If her father had spit in her face, would she not have been in disgrace for seven days? Confine her outside the camp for seven days; after that she can be brought back.” 15 So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move 
on till she was brought back.
 16 After that, the people left Hazeroth and encamped in the Desert of Paran.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Your Thoughts Are Needed...

After reading your responses to the little boy at the
 pool incident, I've felt that 
it would be good to share some other things that 
have happened in an effort to prepare those who have yet to encounter similar situations in the future.

I do not like to be taken by surprise when it comes
 to my kids.  My guess is that you don't either.  
I always want to be as prepared as possible.  
But face it, sometimes people's comments/questions
 dumbfound me and leave me reeling....  
"They did not really just say that?"

Take me by surprise once, but doggone it, I will be as 
prepared as possible for time number two.  
There will be no second surprise, if I can help it.

Here's the reasoning behind being prepared:

God is our Father.
He lovingly cares and protects us.
In fact, one of my favorite scriptures is:

"The name of the LORD is a strong fortress; 
the godly run to him and are safe."
Proverbs 18:10 nlt


If we are scared, hurt, frightened, troubled, fearful, anything, we can run to Him, because we are safe.  

God, as our father, shows us the pattern for our lives.  When we give our lives to Christ we become part of His family.  
He protects us.  
He comforts us.  
He is the perfect Dad.

Our responsibility as parents is not only to prepare 
our kids for life by how we respond to things, but, no doubt, 
it is to protect our kids as they grow.  

I am so grateful that when people say mean or hurtful things I can run to my heavenly Father for comfort, for protection, for encouragement and yes, for wisdom.  

So I thought I would tell some of our personal stories
 things people have said or done since we brought 
our first treasure home from Korea 26+ years and then give you all a chance to think about it and leave comments on how you could've/would've/should've done to handle it....
and then I will do a second post about what we chose to do.  

Your thoughts and ideas are important to all of us, 
as adoptive parents.
There is no 'perfect' thing to say when someone 
says or does something to our kids.
And as different as each person is, 
so will the responses be.

Actually I remember posting about something 
a very, very, very cruel adult did to our Jubilee 
when she was first home.  Your responses gave 
me some ideas on what I could say should 
there be a next time.

So please, don't just sit on the sidelines.
Throw in your thoughts, because they may give someone a better idea on how to handle their personal situation.

Our Place Called Simplicity is getting a long, long, long
 overdue makeover
 {it is lookin' so stinkin' good I am giddy with delight!}
 and soon there will be an entire section devoted
 to "Adoption" and this little series of posts 
will be part of that...
so in the future people needing ideas for their own
 situation could even use your thoughts as a 
reference themselves, so kindly talk away!

First situation coming up next....

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Her Journey is Ending...

Dw received a phone call this morning,
he and his three brothers have all been called.  
His mom is dying.

He found a flight and is heading to the airport soon.

We wanted so badly for her to meet our precious Ruby and
 were planning to drive this summer to see her. 
 My mother-in-law had been so excited with
 each of the little ones we have brought home 
and the pictures that I have when she met 
Jubilee are beyond precious.

Tears looking back to that day...



Notice Jubilee's hand on Grandma's back as she
 listens to them talking.


  
We knew Grandma would love our newest little gem as well. 

Dw's prayer is two-fold:  

First, that he will make it in 
time to see her one last time and then that he would 
be at her side when she steps into eternity and meets Jesus.

I knew you guys would want to know as well.


Monday, March 26, 2012

Last Call

This is the very last call..


Is there anyone out there who wants to partner 
with an amazing International Voice of the Orphan 
GO Team June 2012 
to head to Uganda to love, care and advocate for orphans?

The team is just about assembled, but this is the last call 
for any one else hanging on the fence.

Get off the fence quick 
before you rip your britches,
and take the plunge!


It's an amazing team with even a couple of
 husband and wife sets as well.

We had hoped that it would be possible to have a second trip tag team with the first, but last night we found out that a teeny-tiny special someone
{named Charlotte}

 is coming home to meet Mimi and Jaja during the time when the second possible, but now not-possible team would have been in Uganda.  So that idea is out this time around.

Here is the post about the trip, if you would like to go:


If you are interested, you must email:

office@InternationalVoiceOfTheOrphan.com

by tomorrow.  

{So, go ahead, get off the fence and get typing.}

You can find the application by clicking
 the Download button 
at the bottom of the International Voice of the Orphan 
 GO Team page, here. 

PS  There has never been one person who was unable to GO because they could not raise the money.  Not once.  Every.single.time. God has come through.  Ya' know why?   Cause His heart is for the orphan and His desire is that people love, advocate and care for them.


Sunday, March 25, 2012

An Email

This afternoon I received an email from 
my brother-in-law.  
He visited us for a week recently and sadly,
 I really barely got any pictures.

He is a wonderful uncle and the kids 
{and Dw & I} 
love him to pieces.

We are so thankful he was finally{!} able to visit...
it has been too many years.

Uncle Dan, Dw's next oldest brother with us.

Anyway, in his email today Uncle Dan wrote a very personal 
and tender email in response to the situation with
 the little boy at the pool {he had read the post}.  
It brought tears to our eyes at the love and protective heart
 Dw's brother has for his nieces and nephews.  
Thank you Uncle Dan.
We love you soooo much!

Lastly, there will NOT be a 
Memorial Box Monday tomorrow.

Thank you for understanding.  

Saturday, March 24, 2012

What I Did

As always, I am sharing my heart with you. 

I am grateful for all your responses because I really did want to know how many of you would have handled it.  

You know how they say, 

"Hind sight is 20/20"

I have thought over and over and over and over 
about the situation.
What I did.
What I didn't do.
What I could have done.
Asking the Lord to prepare me now, for next time.
Asking the Lord to prepare my kids now, for next time.
Asking the Lord to give us all wisdom -
and lots of it!
Many of you had some really great ideas.

Truly, when the little boy said what he said, I was stunned.

Stunned on at least three counts:

1.  Stunned that he said it.

2.  Stunned that it came out of nowhere as
 they had not even been playing with him.

3.  Stunned with the way it was snarled.   

Quite honestly, I am still stunned.  

That's why I wanted to know what you all would have done.

Over the years we have heard all kinds of hurtful comments
dating all the way back to when when we first
 brought Tyler home 26+ years ago. 

Actually since bringing our precious Ruby home we have had a recurring question asked from complete strangers so often that we had to pray and talk and pray some more - asking the Lord to give us an appropriate answer that would quell adults who are rude and lack discretion toward people with special needs. 
I will share that situation soon.

But this was somehow different.  

It was sooooo hateful.

It was from a child directed at my children
 and completely unprovoked.

No doubt, when Elizabeth's eyes met mine, 
I could tell.

Her eyes were pleading with me.

I knew I could not just ignore it.

And just in case any one were to think that there 
is not a Mama Bear residing in me?

Guess again!

I can still see the pleading look in Elizabeth's 
eyes even as I type.
  
I had to do something.  

Right then.

About 10 years ago I took my Tyler fishing in Canada for a week.  Just mom and son.
We had a blast.

I took a book I had just gotten with me to read.




{I just googled and linked Amazon with the book in case any
 one of you would want to buy it, and just opening the window to 
put the permalink in, seeing the cover, my eyes welled with tears.  
Powerful book. Truly powerful.}







Have you read it?


It is Frank Peretti's own personal autobiography regarding the deep pain that he suffered from society while growing up 
because of his physical disfigurement.

All I can say is that I sat on a rock in Canada reading 
his book and literally wept for hours.  
I remember Tyler fishing nearby and 
coming over to me every little bit 
and finding me sobbing uncontrollably each time....

It is a must read for every person/parent/aunt/uncle/
grandparent/teacher/youth worker/
child care provider, etc.

It seems that all too often most people would 
rather ignore hateful comments than hold 
anyone accountable for their words or actions.

Frank Peretti really, really challenges that thought.

It is an amazing book that I would highly recommend.

Anyway, between Elizabeth's eyes and Frank Peretti's book tumbling around in my head...

I did the best thing I knew to do.


Turning toward the boy, whose eyes met mine, I said,
 "Hey, would you come with me so you can say 
that in front of your father?"

To which, immediately, the little boy, with his eyes locked on mine, walked backwards 
and disappeared around a wall of the pool.

But I didn't feel I could end it there.

I turned to where the boy's father 
{whom I had been introduced to a couple hours earlier}
 was engaged in a conversation.

We really had been getting ready to leave and at that point, I just wanted to whisk my kids somewhere safe from racial prejudice.

So I prayed.  
"Lord, please!  Could you have that person talking to the dad, 
leave, so I could tell the dad what he said?"

**

Since so many of you responded, I also will share 
what I felt....for starters - like many of you suggested, 
 my guess is that it's pretty likely 
this little guy hears inappropriate and hate-filled 
talk in his home.  He is one very, very angry little boy by 
the way he snarled at Elizabeth and the others.

And as a mom of precious treasures who have 
all been through such painful things in their little lives
pre-coming-home-forever, and  
being completely honest, I was not really feeling all 
that concerned at that moment 
for that little boy.  
 I want my kids feeling safe, valued and protected -
 knowing that Mama will never ever 
placate anyone at my children's expense.

I also believe that if a child is old enough to 
open his mouth to spew venom on another child, 
he is old enough to be held accountable.  
And lastly, it seemed pretty clear to me,
 that the way he walked backwards and 
ducked out of sight, he clearly knew his behavior 
was wrong {but he'd still chosen to say it}.

**

I sat there and kept praying and glancing
 to see if the dad was alone yet.  
Suddenly, 
the person talking to him walked away.
I jumped up to approach him.

With as much kindness as I could muster, I said, 
"Hi, isn't so-n-so your son?"  
He grinned from ear to ear, "Yes he is!"  
I continued, "Well I was wondering if you
 could have a talk with him because he just
 told my kids,
'I hate you all {pausing} because you're black.'  
I continued on...
"I have three children from Africa, we swim here
 all the time, and he needs to understand that it's not okay."  

The dad then said this:

"Oh!  
Well he doesn't have any idea that it's bad to say that.
He doesn't even know what he's saying.
He wouldn't have any idea that there is 
anything wrong with that."

Hmmmm, really?

I wasn't going to debate with the dad that 
since his son had backed out of view he most definitely 
understood that it was nasty and mean!

Clearly, it seemed like it was pointless.

But at least, telling him, I felt 
like maybe, it served to put the dad on notice.
I would like to think that the dad was at least embarrassed that I called him on it and will watch more closely next time.

Regardless, it was such a hate-filled and mean thing to
 have said to anyone, and yet it provided a 
good opportunity to talk with the kids about 
praying for him 
{now that the initial feelings are over}
and learning how to show God's love to others
 in spite of their mean behavior toward us.